Thursday, July 3, 2008

Chapter Sixty One

When CC had slumped Frankie had went to the floor with her, her hands reaching for her mom as tears began to trace her cheeks. Her soft voice quavered as the "No!" went from soft moan to heart rending cry. She watched as the attendants rushed in and bundled her mom into the ambulance, watched as Jon crawled in behind her and she couldn't move. Before she knew it she was bundled into Richie's arms and taken to a car, and on their way to follow the ambulance to Sloan Kettering.

Screams, they seemed to come from everywhere, the ambulance as they raced through the night to follow it, her head as she kept screaming no internally. Not now, not so close to the wedding. God please, let this just be a small hiccup, something medicine can fix for the wedding.

A small shaking hand reached out to grab onto Richie's as her tortured blue gaze was focused on the flashing blue lights only paces ahead of them. "She's gotta be ok, she's gotta...." Tear filled eyes managed to rip themselves from the streak of white racing through the night. "Tell me she’s gonna be ok."

"She's going to be ok, she’s a fighter your mom, shhhh darlin" he clung his hand onto her own. Richie's gut wrenched as he wasn't totally convinced of this, he had a bad bad feeling, this was all too familiar to him.

Her eyes turned to the screaming flash of white and began to shake as it pulled into the hospital, Richie's car rigth behind it. She inhaled sharply, not wanting to go in, not wanting to face what she knew was coming. "Its' not fair, we only had a couple more days til teh wedding, she should get to be there dammit."

She held tight to Richie as he helped her from the car and walked her into the hospital. Before she knew it they were in the hall with Jon, three sentinels awaiting the moment the doctor finally exited the room.

The Doctor came out and cast his eyes on to the three of them. "CC Benson's family?" he asked

Richie took charge "Yes we are, how is she doc?" Richie asked as Frankie clung onto her.

The doctor's expression didn't flicker "She's relapsed, and she's been heavily sedated for the pain, so she's more comfortable now, but now would be the time to go and see her, her body has come to the end of its fight, and its just a matter of time, I am so sorry, but your all most welcome to stay as long as it takes, she asked to see a Jon first" he said.

Frankie’s eye's closed as heart wrenched into two pieces. She glanced up at Jon and bit back a soft cry. "Go on, make her feel better dammit, that's what superman does."

Jon winced and pulled Frankie into a hug. "I'll do my best baby girl." As he turned to walk into the room he watched Richie pull Frankie into a hug. The final sounds he heard as the door closed was Frankie’s soft broken hearted cry.

Walking over to the bed he leaned in and brushed a knuckle softly over CC's cheek. "Hey baby, I'm here."

CC opened her eyes and as she did she saw the face of a young Jersey boy she fell in love with many years ago, she started her life and now he was here at the end of it. "Hey you" she managed still being able to speak as she requested that to the doctors not to drug her too hard so she could.

"Jon, my baby, you risked everything for us, and I am so grateful you were here in the end for us all, especially me, Jon" she stopped as she felt tears slide down her face. "I am so sorry I waited so long to tell you about Frankie, but I have to say you gave me the most wonderful gift in the world, more than you will ever know, she made my life worth every minute of living it"

He leaned over pressing his forehead to hers as his lips traced hers gently. "Man, you've given me so much, I loved you from the first, and I can only thank God that you finally found me again."

She lifted her hand to his cheek and brushed it softly "I love you so much, I always have and I always will, your my Jersey boy and you've grown into a wonderful Jersey man and I am so lucky that Frankie will have you from now on, you take care of her Jon, she'll drive you crazy I know she will, but you hold on, as she’s worth every second of it baby, god I love you so much and I am going to miss those eyes"

He shook his head and forced back the tears and sighed, 'I'll miss yours more baby." His lips touched hers again as his fingers traced her cheek. "I don’t know if you ever heard it, but I wrote a song once, about the little girl I never got to know."

He managed a chuckle, "She'd kill me to know i always thought of her as a Frannie til I met her though."

She smiled "I didn’t know that Jon, you really wrote a song? I should have known, make you sure you tell her, it will show her that you thought about her all that time" CC managed a laugh "She hates being called that just FYI"

He leaned closer, his lips brushing over his ear as he softly began to sing.

Tell Frannie I'm sorry she didn't get to know her dad
I'll bet he's sorry he didn't get to know you too
Tell her there'll be people saying things that make her sad
How her daddy felt alone, how he was hurtin' bad
I guess that won't be too far from the truth
Yeah, it's lonely at the top
Happy is one thing it's not
I was jaded, suffocated; it got too hard to breathe
But never got as high as I needed to be
You know life becomes worthless when they steal your dreams
I just couldn't live with what was left for me
And I couldn't run far enough from the truth - what's the use?
Yeah, it's lonely at the top
Happy is one thing it's not
Before you know you find yourself alone and looking down
No one there can help you stop before you hit the ground
It's lonely at the top
Tell Frannie I'm sorry - I better kiss her when she cries
I'm sorry I left her, never said goodbye
Didn't mean to leave you all alone but then the music died
Though the song remains the same, I couldn't live that lie
You know that ain't too far from the truth
And you know that ain't too far from the truth
Yeah, it's lonely at the top
Happy's one thing it's not
Before you know you find yourself alone and looking down
No one there to help you stop before you hit the ground
Yeah, it's lonely at the top
Yeah, it's lonely at the top

He kissed her again gently. "Most of my good stuff was cuz of you. Shhh its our secret ok?" He managed to smile as a tear escaped his eye.

Tears stained her eyes as the melody flowed through her, sad that she had really kept her from him all those years but knowing now they were together and meant to be, she had no doubt Jon would grow to love her. She wiped it away with her finger "Same here, you take care Jon Bongiovi and know what ever happens, I love you"

He nodded as he straightened. "Always." He shook his head and forced the tears back again. "Want to see her now baby?"

"I want to see Richie first, and then Frankie" she winced a little as the pain was starting to seep through all the sedation. "Look after my baby"

He nodded "You know I will babe. You know I will." He turned and moved through the door and looked at Richie. "She wants to talk to you man." He held out his arms and waited for Richie to transfer his daughter into his care.

Richie took in horror Jon's tear stained face, he just nodded as he kissed Frankie on the forehead and passed her gently to Jon.

She curled into Jon’s arms and the tears wouldn't stop. "She's better right?? Tell me she’s better."

Jon bit back his tears as he had to tell his daughter the hardest thing. "I'm sorry baby, she's not this time" he sniffled trying to keep strong for her.

Frankie shuddered as her arms wrapped tightly around Jon and let the tears continue.

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